Canada and the U.S.: It’s Complicated

 

There are some relationships that you don't realize you've taken for granted until something changes.

For most of my life, the relationship between Canada and the United States has simply been there. We are neighbours. We share the longest international border in the world, a language, a continent, a history and countless personal connections.

And yet, lately, that relationship feels very different.

As I write this, Canada and the United States are once again in the middle of difficult trade negotiations, with another U.S. tariff deadline looming on August 19. The United States is threatening additional 50% tariffs on certain Canadian goods, while Canadian and American officials continue trying to reach an agreement.

I'm not going to pretend that I understand all the intricacies of international trade. There are economists, trade experts and government officials who spend their days trying to make sense of it all.

But I do understand how it feels to watch the relationship between our two countries change.

And, honestly, it makes me angry and sad.

The Younger Sibling

I've sometimes thought of Canada and the United States as being a little like siblings.

The United States has always been the bigger, louder, more powerful one. Canada has often seemed like the younger sibling standing beside them, trying to establish an identity of its own while constantly being compared with its much larger neighbour.

For much of my life, being Canadian has seemed to involve defining ourselves by what we aren't.

We're not American.

We don't do things quite the same way. We have our own healthcare system, our own culture, our own government and our own way of looking at the world. But so much of our identity has existed in the shadow of the United States.

And while Canadians have always thought about the United States, I'm not sure Americans have spent nearly as much time thinking about us.

We know what's happening in Washington. We know who the American president is. We watch American television and movies. We travel to American cities. We shop in American stores. American news and culture have been, for the most part, forced upon us.

How often does the average American think about what's happening in Ottawa? About Canadians? About Canada in general?

Sometimes it has felt as though Canada has been the neighbour who knows everything about the family next door, while the family next door barely knows who lives beside them.

And maybe that's why the events of the past year have hit so differently.

We've Felt Taken for Granted

For decades, we've been good neighbours.

We've traded with each other, crossed the border for vacations and shopping trips, visited one another's countries and built businesses and lives that depend on that relationship. We've lived together, worked together and, in many cases, married one another.

We assumed that underneath our occasional disagreements, there was a fundamental friendship.

But lately, many Canadians have felt taken for granted.

We've watched our sovereignty questioned and heard threats about Canada becoming the 51st state. We've watched tariffs being imposed on Canadian goods and businesses, and our relationship with our closest neighbour become something that suddenly requires constant negotiation.

The current trade dispute is only part of the larger conversation about what the future of the Canada-U.S. relationship will look like.

It's complicated.

But the feelings aren't and Canadians are angry.

Canadians Are Scrappy

I don't think I've ever seen Canadians this fired up.

We are generally a pretty polite bunch. We apologize when someone bumps into us. We form orderly lines. We tend to avoid making too much of a fuss.

But there comes a point when polite isn't enough.

Canadians are scrappy. We're tough. We've reached the point where we've gone elbows up (a hockey term that means to be ready to defend yourself)  and dropped the proverbial hockey gloves, ready to fight.

And I think something unexpected has happened. Instead of making Canadians feel smaller, the constant pressure from the United States has made many of us think more seriously about who we are.

We've been forced to stop looking south all the time and start looking around, realizing just how many other countries and opportunities are out there.

Canada is working to strengthen relationships and economic partnerships around the world rather than relying so heavily on our traditional relationship with the United States.

And I have to admit, that gives me some hope.

Canada Strong

I feel fortunate that we have a prime minister who is intelligent, capable and respected on the world stage.

I feel reassured that Canada is being led through this difficult period by someone who understands the complexity of the situation and recognizes that our future cannot depend on what happens south of the border.

There may be some short-term pain as we make changes. There may be things that cost more, and businesses and industries that have a difficult road ahead.

But there is also an opportunity here.

An opportunity to strengthen Canadian businesses. To buy more Canadian products. To develop new markets. To build stronger relationships with countries around the world. To stop assuming that our best or only option is always to look south.

In the end, I believe we will come out stronger, with a clearer sense of who we are as a country and as a people.

When Politics Becomes Personal

Of course, this isn't just politics or economics for us.

It is personal.

We have a son who is married to our dear American daughter-in-law, a nephew and his family who live in the United States, and an American sister-in-law who happily makes her home here in Canada with my brother. These aren't just people on the other side of the border. They are people we love.

We've also always enjoyed living within about an hour of the American border. We've spent a lot of time travelling throughout the United States, taking road trips, exploring cities, eating in restaurants and, yes, doing plenty of shopping.

For years, crossing the border was almost an afterthought.

Where are we going this weekend?

Oh, let's go to the States.

It was easy, familiar and fun.

For the foreseeable future that has changed. Other than flying through the United States when we need to get somewhere else, we won't be planning American vacations or shopping trips. Our Canadian dollars won't be landing in American cash registers any time soon.

And I know we aren't alone. From conversations with friends and family, most Canadians seem to feel the same way.

This isn't about disliking Americans. Quite the opposite. It's about how the relationship between our two countries has changed, and how that change has affected something that once felt so natural to us.

And that's what makes it so complicated.

It's Complicated

I don't know where all of this will lead.

Maybe the trade talks will produce an agreement. Maybe the tariffs will come and go. Maybe, eventually, things will settle down and Canada and the United States will find their way back to a more familiar relationship.

I hope they do.

Because despite everything I've said, I don't want a bad relationship with the United States.

I want good neighbours. I want our countries to trade fairly with one another. I want Americans to visit Canada and Canadians to visit the United States. I want our families to be able to cross the border without thinking twice about it.

But I also want Canada to be confident in who we are.

For years, we've struggled with what it means to be Canadian when our enormous neighbour to the south has dominated so much of our cultural and economic landscape.

We've spent too much time defining ourselves by what we're not.  Maybe it's time to define ourselves by what we are.

We are Canadian.

We're scrappy. We're resilient. We're independent. We're kind, but we're not pushovers.

And we may be the younger sibling, but we're growing up.

I hope that someday we'll look back on this period as a difficult chapter in a long friendship. But I also hope that when we get to the other side, Canada will be a little more confident, a little more independent and a lot more aware of just how much we have to offer the world.

Canada Strong.

And yes...

It's complicated.